Thursday, December 28, 2023
Weekly Update. Happy New Year!
Thursday, December 21, 2023
Weekly Update
Thursday, December 14, 2023
Weekly Update
The past week has been going generally well, but I do feel that sense of the "holiday rush" (sometimes picked up from other people!) and wishing Christmas was how it used to be when I was growing up (everything was so simple back then, right?!). Unfortunately that just isn't realistic; people get older, people move on, people sometimes move away, and family and friends don't always get along. It's just a part of the circle of life and dealing with human nature.
So I've been trying to bring out some holiday cheer through little things here and there: decorating, baking Christmas cookies while listening to holiday music, sending out some Christmas cards (unfortunately it's lost its popularity throughout the years), and wearing festive jewelry and outfits. Sometimes you have to create new holiday traditions and reach out to different people. Or try to mend old broken ties. Do what feels right for you, and don't base it on what you feel you "should" do as suggested by other people or society. Be compassionate and extra gentle with yourself. In addition to holiday stress, the winter lack of sunlight and the harsh weather (especially where I live in Central New York!) is another common frustration. That's why now is the perfect time to put in the extra effort into your self-care routine. Go easy on yourself when you're feeling emotional or lack motivation. It's perfectly normal and okay. Take breaks when you need it to rest and decompress. Setting boundaries and not overworking or being a perfectionist is essential.
For me I find that it's easy to get distracted this time of year with all of the busyness and emotions running high, so I have to remind myself to practice my daily self-care routine (I especially enjoy saying positive affirmations and using creative visualization). The past few days I have made sure to spend some times prioritizing (I love making lists of everything!). Self-care always comes first. As the saying goes, "you can't pour from an empty cup." If I'm not feeling well, how can I expect to get anything done or enjoy conversations with other people? Writing this list down helped me feel less overwhelmed by everything I've been trying to fit in the past few weeks.
Especially with job searching for online writing opportunities (I strongly suggest you spend no more than an hour at a time researching. I made the mistake last week of going overboard and ended up completely overwhelmed and ready to give up altogether!). Speaking of which, I created some new freelance mental health and wellness blogging and marketing services through Upwork if anyone's interested!
Links:
Warmest wishes for a peaceful and enjoyable holiday season~
Wednesday, December 6, 2023
I Have to be Honest...
Monday, December 4, 2023
My Weekly Mental Health Update
I have made a lot of progress over the past two years in dealing with my mental health issues. My moods weren't always stable though, and I relapsed for a few days from time to time. But overall I've been slowly improving.
I made sort of a breakthrough a few weeks ago. I learned what the trigger was behind my anxiety and BPD, and how to effectively get beyond the intrusive thoughts. What's behind my fears are the need for control, acceptance, identity/independence, feeling safe, and to be able to communicate and express my feelings to others (as well as myself). I'm learning more about self-love and self-care. As I explained in my previous entry, I realized that true self-love is loving myself unconditionally. I learned, with the help of my therapist, that your core identity, your true self, is who you are on the inside. It isn't based upon your outer circumstances, roles, or how successful you see yourself at something. It's who you are as a person. What great qualities do you have? Are you a good friend and listener, are you kind, generous, or compassionate? Are you understanding and accepting of other people? These are all examples of who we are on the inside. It's what's in our heart and soul.
I'm learning how to love all parts of myself, even when I feel like I don't measure up in life. Or when I don't feel talented enough, or feeling behind in my life's journey. Once I began accepting and caring for myself, my anxiety, fear/phobias and frustration immediately lessened. What has helped especially for me is repeating self-confidence affirmations, using creative visualization/relaxing visuals, and daily positive self-talk.
I am striving towards fulfillment and being comfortable and content in life, however that will look. I'm trying not to compare myself with those who seem happier or more "successful" than me. Everyone has their own unique journey and struggles to overcome.
I've had a very long and difficult journey, but perhaps it's part of my calling. I've always felt different than other people, with more intense and complicated feelings and a lot of insecurities. Hopefully I can turn that into something good someday by helping other people who are struggling. I am praying that I will continue to improve and eventually get to where I want to be in life: filled with inner peace, surrounded by love, and bursting with creativity. After all, that's who I really am.