The Importance of Positive Self-Talk

 

I've been doing well the past couple of months with using and keeping up with my positive (self-love and empowerment) affirmations. Yet the other day they didn't seem to resonate with me for some reason, and I got frustrated. 

What if I can never believe my affirmations enough to continue on my journey to self-confidence and finally finding peace and fulfillment in my life? I kept debating on the best way to get over this slump and change my mindset again. I regularly switch up my affirmations I use for this very reason, and I keep a list of them with me on my phone (in my notes app) at all times. If I don't believe in them, they have the opposite effect that I'm looking for: self-doubt and criticism. 

After ten or fifteen minutes going through this in my head (eventually heading towards rumination and wondering if I should just stay home that day), I finally remembered another valuable strategy: positive self-talk.  How did I forget this? I know why: I get too distracted by my thoughts, daily struggles (who doesn't from time to time?), and to-do lists that I end up forgetting it. 

So I changed tactics and began to talk to myself the way you would with a friend or loved one: with compassion, patience, and encouragement. I looked at the positive: how far I've come, how I've never given up, and how I'm trying to do good in the world by helping other people who are struggling like I am. 

I instantly felt a sense of peace and wonderment: if I'm able to change my mood around that quickly and end up having a good day (when I was so tempted to give up and stay home, while criticizing myself and getting mad at the unfairness of life), then what else am I capable of?...💕💕💕

 

The Sun is Finally Out! 😉☀️

  

Hope you all had a good weekend! I'm not sure what the winter weather is like where you live, but here in Central New York it has been dark and cloudy for eleven days straight the past week! (It's finally out again! ☀️) A lot of people have been saying how tired and unmotivated they've been lately (myself included), and it's no wonder why that is.

How do you all deal with the winter blues?

Here are some ideas that I find helpful:

1) Vision Boards: I personally love to go on Pinterest and create a vision board of all of my favorite things that motivate, uplift or inspire me. Including photographs of sunshine by the beach!

2) Skin Care Routine: Having a regular skin care routine helps me both to relax and to get extra moisturizing in for dry winter skin. 

3) Wearing Bright Colors: Maybe this is an artist thing, but I always feel better when I'm wearing bright colors and jewelry, especially on a cloudy day.

4) House Decorating: Decorating my house with bright colors (such as red and pink for Valentine’s Day) always brightens my mood (pun not intended). Buying fresh flowers is also a great idea (unfortunately I can't since I have a cat 😹).

5) Get Out and Have Fun: Get out as often as you can, even just to run errands. Make sure that you're not isolating yourself, and spend some time with family and friends. This will give you a burst of energy as well as a warm feeling of connection with others. Also, try to soak up whatever sunlight you can, even if it's just sitting by a window.

Enjoy your week, and stay warm!~ 🌞

Two Great Children's & Young Adult Mental Health Books!

 

Bullying & Mental Health Books Recommendation! 📚🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

The Only Way Out and Many Ways Up are two wonderful, highly-informative books written by talented author Katie Kuperman that are about bullying and mental health for youth, young adults, parents, educators and advocates.

They are focused on the prevalent issues of bullying and mental health. They have been crafted with classroom learning in mind for students aged 11+. Including a fiction novel and an educational workbook, these two books go together as a package and serve as a mini unit on bullying and mental health that teachers can use in the classroom.

Her first book, The Only Way Out is a fiction novel that takes readers through a gripping, heart-wrenching and inspiring story about bullying and mental health with characters in their first year of high school. She was inspired by the late Amanda Todd. The book is dedicated to Amanda, and also donates part of its proceeds to the Amanda Todd Legacy Society, which is a non-profit organization owned by Amanda’s mother that helps troubled youth in various ways.

Positive Key Points:

- Easy, smooth read

- A page-turner!

- Emotional and impactful

- Realistic

- Very motivating and inspiring

Katie's second book, Many Ways Up is a non-fiction educational, bullying and mental health workbook which accompanies her novel and includes discussion questions, teaching components, visual exercises and actionable tasks. It is approved by educators, endorsed by BullyingCanada, and donates part of its proceeds to BullyingCanada, a large and well-known non-profit organization that supports kids and young adults dealing with bullying.

Positive Key Points:

- Self-reflective

- Practical and useful

- Interesting and informative

- Fresh insights and perspectives

Both books have been developed for readers aged 11-18.

Author Biography:

"Over the last 2 years, I have been featured on several major media outlets and have done guest spots on relevant podcasts."

"Right now, my novel, The Only Way Out, and bits and pieces of my workbook, Many Ways Up, are being used in five Grade 9 school classes. The teachers are using the books as a study unit on bullying and mental health. I have been actively in touch with the teacher and even some of the students as they submit various projects. Coming directly from the teacher and the students themselves, there are very high levels of engagement, they are having open discussions on meaningful topics in class, and are creatively developing school projects based on the book. Teachers feel as though they are truly connecting with their students and having an impact. This has been a dream come true for me - seeing my writing come to life in the classroom, having such an impact, and being used in a way that ignites conversation, raises awareness and fuels positive change."

"I believe it is this kind of learning that will resonate with our youth and make positive differences in the areas of bullying and mental health, which is why I want to leverage this and take my books to the next level." 

"Both books are designed to encourage and drive readers to talk openly and speak up about what's going on in their lives."

~Author's Main Website: www.katiekuperman.com

Highly recommended! Get your copy today.

Mental Health Update. Why is Self-Esteem so Difficult?

I have to be honest in that I've been struggling the past few days. I'm not where I want to be in life (recovered), and my self-esteem has taken a hit. I have a mental health disability and am unable to financially provide for myself on my own. I turned 38 last week and I'm still living at home with my parents. I've been struggling immensely with trying to find a work-from-home job with a steady income in writing/blogging or influencing. I don't have the proper certification requirements in some job postings. I'm wondering if it's worth continuing to job search in these areas, as well as to keep blogging here. I'm not sure how interested people are in reading this blog.

Any feedback?

I've also been struggling with body image again, partly due to being triggered with the increase in calories starting with the holidays and then my birthday.

Nonetheless I will always keep trying to improve and get back on track in recovery. I need to develop new strategies as far as getting my confidence slowly back up again. And to prioritize as well. Taking care of myself should always come first.

Enjoy the rest of your week, and keep warm! 😉☃️❄️

I Never Thought...

 

I never thought that I would be where I am today. 

A lot of it is good, but some of it is not-so-good. But realistically, isn't that true for most of us? I don't think there's anyone that is 100% happy with where they are in life. There are always personal struggles we face, and we all make mistakes from time to time. We all have regrets about what we should or shouldn't have done.

I will focus right now on how far I've come, and what I have achieved that I never would have expected. I went from being a shy, withdrawn, lonely, angry, full of self-hatred teenager towards this:

~Being a published author, blogger, artist, illustrator, and Influencer 

~Having my work displayed over the internet and locally, and having people I knew from high school congratulate me. In high school I felt invisible and so lonely. I never thought that my books, art and photo would be displayed publicly for anyone to see, and to build an online following.

~Receiving book awards and reaching Amazon's #1 new bestsellers list. Being featured in the local newspaper. 

~Making the Dean's List in college and winning scholarships (going part-time). I almost didn't graduate high school, had to go to summer school my junior year, and I had to re-take my last advanced art class in college (I barely showed up, to say the least) in order to get my art diploma. 

~Meeting new people, attending and creating local meetup groups, and making lifelong friendships. 

I used to think I would never overcome depression (and other mental health issues) and get better, but I did. For the most part, anyway. I'm still improving and learning more every day. 

If I can get better, so can you. It's never too late. ♡

Weekly Update, January 4th. Affirmations ♡

                                       

I discovered a very helpful tool recently that has made my anxiety and feelings of powerlessness so much better. 

Positive affirmations has been one of the most healing strategies I have found, especially for self-confidence and compassion towards myself and others. Yet something has been missing all this time.  For as long as I can remember, I have felt powerless in life. Basically trapped inside my own mind due to social anxiety, OCD, and various other mental health and sensory issues. So many circumstances were beyond my control, especially as a teenager. 

I began to think to myself a couple of weeks ago: if positive affirmations can help with self-confidence and anxiety, why not other affirmations to help with empowerment? Specifically, feelings of dependence on others and a  lack of "identity" (I think this is a BPD symptom). So I did some research online, and I found that there are a ton of empowering affirmations to help with this. It's about discovering your core identity, which I've explained previously. It's essential that you separate who you are as a person on the inside vs. your roles and accomplishments in your life. For me this was an epiphany. And something so simple! Oftentimes we miss what's right in front of ourselves because we're looking in the wrong direction. 

I also especially benefit from affirmations because I'm a very visual person and I can easily create images to go along with them. It makes it feel more real to me and it also helps me to remember them.

What do you think about using positive affirmations? Do you have any favorites you use regularly?

Enjoy your weekend!

Weekly Update. Happy New Year!

 

How was everyone's Christmas? I went to my cousin's house and had a nice time. It felt good to catch up with everyone. Christmas Eve wasn't as nice, as I was feeling sentimental and emotional about family members who are no longer here or able to visit. Christmas just isn't the same anymore, but that happens to everyone as they get older. I just have to make the best of it and to continue to build new relationships in my life.

I'm still continuing to improve. I don't feel quite so angry about my situation/mental health issues anymore, which is a huge step for me. I'm practicing repeating empowering (independance-related) and confidence-building affirmations which is very helpful. It helps me see things (even visualize it) in a new perspective.

I also don't feel as frustrated about finding a writing or influencing/social media job since I've been getting a lot of invitations recently from Upwork. I also applied to a bunch of jobs there over the past week. I'm thankful for anything I can get, as long as it's steady work.

I put my self-help book on hold at the moment, as I don't feel ready yet to get it out there. I feel like I still have more work to do on myself, as well as more research. But I'm currently writing a picture book that's about shyness/social anxiety which will be coming out later in 2024. I really hope that it helps someone.

Have a happy and healthy new year! Best wishes for 2024.

Weekly Update

 

I'm feeling a bit more festive now. My family and I made some plans for Christmas day and I'm looking forward to that. Sometimes you have to make the extra effort to reach out to more people or create new plans.

What is everyone's favorite Christmas movies? I watch The Nutcracker every year (I sometimes see it in person as well by the Syracuse City Ballet); it never gets old! Talk about true holiday magic and whimsical scenery. I also have my comedy favorites like National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation and Christmas with the Kranks. I love staying in on a cold night and curling up by the fire with popcorn or hot chocolate and watching a Christmas movie. It's so fun and relaxing.

I'm still pretty new at this blogging and mental health influencing thing. Let me know if you have any suggestions on topics you want me to write about. I'm mostly writing updates on my own life dealing with mental health issues and being in recovery. I thought it might help people be able to relate to my experiences.

As I've said before, I've made a lot of progress over the past couple years, especially the past few months, but I'm still frustrated that I'm not where I want to be yet. People have told me to be patient and focus on how far I've come, but I've been struggling daily for over two decades now. I just want to put all of this behind me and move on. To become more independent (I'm almost 38 now) and more social/have less social anxiety. Financial (and emotional) independence is what I am the most frustrated with. I have limitations when it comes to working. My goal is to work full-time from home as a writer and influencer. Unfortunately it takes a while with these kinds of jobs to build up a following and find jobs that are a good fit. Especially when I don't have an English degree or social media certification. I have a new local job coach I'm waiting to hear back from so hopefully she'll have some suggestions for me.

Hope you all have a great holiday weekend! ♡

Weekly Update

The past week has been going generally well, but I do feel that sense of the "holiday rush" (sometimes picked up from other people!) and wishing Christmas was how it used to be when I was growing up (everything was so simple back then, right?!). Unfortunately that just isn't realistic; people get older, people move on, people sometimes move away, and family and friends don't always get along. It's just a part of  the circle of life and dealing with human nature.

So I've been trying to bring out some holiday cheer through little things here and there: decorating, baking Christmas cookies while listening to holiday music, sending out some Christmas cards (unfortunately it's lost its popularity throughout the years), and wearing festive jewelry and outfits. Sometimes you have to create new holiday traditions and reach out to different people. Or try to mend old broken ties. Do what feels right for you, and don't base it on what you feel you "should" do as suggested by other people or society. Be compassionate and extra gentle with yourself. In addition to holiday stress, the winter lack of sunlight and the harsh weather (especially where I live in Central New York!) is another common frustration. That's why now is the perfect time to put in the extra effort into your self-care routine. Go easy on yourself when you're feeling emotional or lack motivation. It's perfectly normal and okay. Take breaks when you need it to rest and decompress. Setting boundaries and not overworking or being a perfectionist is essential.

For me I find that it's easy to get distracted this time of year with all of the busyness and emotions running high, so I have to remind myself to practice my daily self-care routine (I especially enjoy saying positive affirmations and using creative visualization). The past few days I have made sure to spend some times prioritizing (I love making lists of everything!). Self-care always comes first. As the saying goes, "you can't pour from an empty cup." If I'm not feeling well, how can I expect to get anything done or enjoy conversations with other people? Writing this list down helped me feel less overwhelmed by everything I've been trying to fit in the past few weeks.

Especially with job searching for online writing opportunities (I strongly suggest you spend no more than an hour at a time researching. I made the mistake last week of going overboard and ended up completely overwhelmed and ready to give up altogether!). Speaking of which, I created some new freelance mental health and wellness blogging and marketing services through Upwork if anyone's interested!

Links:

Blogging Services

Instagram Marketing

Warmest wishes for a peaceful and enjoyable holiday season~

I Have to be Honest...

 

I have to be honest. As much as I go on about the importance of loving oneself, I'm not quite there yet. I'm more at a point of self-acceptance, and even that is stretching it a bit. But you want to know something? It has still made a world of difference. I used to be on the very opposite end of the spectrum: I hated myself. This is no exaggeration, and it went on for decades. I developed many self-destructive habits as a teenager and throughout my twenties. So it's no wonder that it's been extremely difficult to make it to the other side. But I am getting there, step by step. I'm working extra hard at the moment. My goal is to be confident enough that I am stable with my emotions and to become self-sufficient and independent. This is a huge thing for me. I have a mental health disability and haven't been lucky enough to still be fully or mostly-functioning. I am determined that this ends now and that I will make a complete turnaround soon. 

I owe it to my readers (I can see I'm beginning to get some more views! Hopefully I will get subscribers soon) to be honest about my struggles and not give off the impression that I'm fully recovered and that things are becoming easy for me. Easier, yes. But certainly not easy.

Here's to new beginnings 🌠🌈🌟🩷💕

My Weekly Mental Health Update

 

I have made a lot of progress over the past two years in dealing with my mental health issues. My moods weren't always stable though, and I relapsed for a few days from time to time. But overall I've been slowly improving. 

I made sort of a breakthrough a few weeks ago. I learned what the trigger was behind my anxiety and BPD, and how to effectively get beyond the intrusive thoughts. What's behind my fears are the need for control, acceptance, identity/independence, feeling safe, and to be able to communicate and express my feelings to others (as well as myself). I'm learning more about self-love and self-care. As I explained in my previous entry, I realized that true self-love is loving myself unconditionally. I learned, with the help of my therapist, that your core identity, your true self, is who you are on the inside. It isn't based upon your outer circumstances, roles, or how successful you see yourself at something. It's who you are as a person. What great qualities do you have? Are you a good friend and listener, are you kind, generous, or compassionate? Are you understanding and accepting of other people? These are all examples of who we are on the inside. It's what's in our heart and soul.

I'm learning how to love all parts of myself, even when I feel like I don't measure up in life. Or when I don't feel talented enough, or feeling behind in my life's journey. Once I began accepting and caring for myself, my anxiety, fear/phobias and frustration immediately lessened. What has helped especially for me is repeating self-confidence affirmations, using creative visualization/relaxing visuals, and daily positive self-talk. 

I am striving towards fulfillment and being comfortable and content in life, however that will look. I'm trying not to compare myself with those who seem happier or more "successful" than me. Everyone has their own unique journey and struggles to overcome. 

I've had a very long and difficult journey, but perhaps it's part of my calling. I've always felt different than other people, with more intense and complicated feelings and a lot of insecurities. Hopefully I can turn that into something good someday by helping other people who are struggling. I am praying that I will continue to improve and eventually get to where I want to be in life: filled with inner peace, surrounded by love, and bursting with creativity. After all, that's who I really am.